I am an Adult now!

I don’t live life like a young girl anymore……I live life like a WOMAN!

Hit Play on this video. scroll down and be serenaded into my adult life!

When I was a teeny weeny little girl, playing by myself in the basement in Dauphin, MB,  I would stand on colourful wooden storage boxes that my dad built and say to myself…”When I’m a grown up I will be this tall!!” I would take in the view from way up there and dream of being an ADULT!

I also knew that when I was 40 I would officially be an adult! I don’t know where this one came from but now that I am officially 40 years and 2 days old, I thought it was time to honour the part of me who has been waiting patiently for this day for over 35 years! Here you go tiny Amanda – Enjoy!

Here is what being an ADULT looks like for us………..

Forty and Fabulous!

I get to clean toilets while being Fabulous and 40!
Big ol’ bathtub rings get the sparkle treatment in this Fab 40 lifestyle!
Dirty Dishes don’t stand a chance in this Fabulous kitchen!

The only thing thats a little dirty in this fabulous kitchen is…Me!!

These balls get plenty of hot, wet, soapy action in my Fabulous 40 Life!


The only dust you’ll be seeing from this Fab 40 is from the stuff she leaves behind while blazing new trails for herself!

Fabulous and Forty, Amanda really knows her way around a garden hose! Work it…….Fabulous!


What….there’s a leak in the roof……FABULOUS!!


Even Trash makes a Fabulous entrance – just in time to be picked up;)
Mow that lawn Fabulous Lady!

Whack those weeds Fabulous lady!!

Growing my own food is a Fabulous thing to do at 40!
Nothing says “I have a Fabulous life cause I’m 40!” more than picking up after my furry friends! Thanks Rupert! Any mundane task can be made “Fabulous” when done with STYLE, GRACE and an ATTITUDE of FABULOUSNESS!
Things I know at 40….never trim nose hairs before a performance! They have a job to do – let them do it!!!


Well there you go little Amanda, finally we are an Adult!

We Got this!

Happy Birthday and Welcome to your 40’s! 

p.s. Never stop living life like you did when you were standing on those boxes! Stay curious, optimistic and excited about whats to come!! It seriously gets better!


Thank you Sarah MacGregor for entertaining and capturing my childlike desires!!

Love Hoop Heal Documentary Trailer


This is a preview of what I am working towards.

I have been holding onto all of these beautiful memories and images for years, unwilling to let them be shared as it was too painful to feel them let alone look at them or talk about them. After 2 years of shedding old baggage, I am feeling ready to let go and move into a new, fresh space within myself. There’s a lot to come forward but it needed the time to process so when it does come through it is pure and heartfelt. It feels like a birthing from within and the energy inside me needed time to gestate, to gather itself into a state which could survive on its own outside of me. It has a life of its own and my job is to simply be a vessel for its manifestation.

I look forward to sharing the finished product with you in the near future and for future projects to come forward.


Where am I?

I am sitting on a multi coloured almost psychedelic couch in a room filled with giant aloe vera plants, alters, dim lights and hundreds of books on Light and Spiritual growth, I am with my 83 year old friend Ananda. I have arrived at her place after nearly one month on the road traveling, meeting family I have never met, searching for warm water and reconnecting. This quest for a space where I can simply Be is endless as it always leads back to me.


I have lived in extremes, especially the last 3 years, and yet I yearn for balance. I have followed my karma through the trials it has brought forth and yet I always come out the other side of it stronger. I realized that I did not share a lot of my journey of being in The Pas and that this stems from simply not wanting to and also not needing to. I came to The Pas for Rebirth and that process is extremely personal and does not have words. This leg of the journey it felt inappropriate and incredibly challenging, maybe the hardest part of my journey so far. I came out the other side with more clarity and confidence as well as what feels like a vast sense of self. I feel ready for a rest and simultaneously ready to begin a completely new phase of life. In order for something new to emerge something old must die. The way I have been living life has been unsustainable and so I must examine how I care for myself and let the old ideals go.

I found new roots of love and old roots of anger. I lost parts of myself and found beauty in others. I revealed things I’d rather not see and things I’d never seen before. I created enemies and wonderful new friends.  I relived old patterns and watched as my new patterns emerged from within without effort. I did it all with an open heart and as little judgement as I could muster, knowing that I was here to learn from it, all of it. The whole while gaining awareness of where I came from, how I got there, where I could go and where I want to go.


I find beauty and inspiration in struggle, mine and others. I am drawn to fierceness and softness equally. My time with the Native people of the area was profound. I am thankful for my Nursing education for facilitating such a unique cultural and healing experience. I will never forget this transformative time.

IMG_2679 IMG_2599

I experienced the raw beauty of the wild once again which my heart longs for and needs. I sang with Eagles and danced with Bears. I picked flowers and learned about medicines. I entered the womb of the mother where I was given my spirit name and supported in my healing journey by the most gentle and kind men I have ever met. I learned a new language one with words and one without. I found out what it means to honour spirit and listen to the water.


To the elders who shared with me the teachings I say “Ekose”, I will carry this knowledge within me with great pride. To the elders I had the honour of caring for in their homes I am humbled to have been of service to you, forever a piece of my heart belongs with you.  I am changed at my core by the stories I witnessed and the beauty of the culture in which I was immersed. This was a gift, you were all a gift to me.


Time came to bring balance back into my own life so I needed to leave. I am on the road once again and all I can hear in my heart is the word HOME. I want to go Home. I miss my calm, beautiful apartment, my friends upstairs and just down the road. I miss my foster dog Flynn Flynn, so much that my heart squeezes at the thought of him, and I miss walking down the street and talking with strangers who quickly became friends. I even miss those who are glad to see me go. I have many places which I have called home and I am in one of those right now but there is always a grieving period, a necessary phase where light comes pouring forth from all the small cracks in my story. I feel blessed to know that I can create such deep connections wherever I go and it is in the leaving when I realize just how deep they are. The removal of self from any situation will reveal strengths and weaknesses and my heart continues to guide me home, for this is really where I live.

I am grateful for community, roots and connection. I am grateful for being pushed and for pushing back until I finally let go and simply allow. My Ego took a bruising and knocked me off my pedestal making room for pain which is the greatest teacher I know. As I make plans and let them go again and again, I watch the layers unfold, the ones that hold me back from allowing life to happen, and I learn to trust in the process.


Here I am……right where I need to Be.

Culture of White

“Culture may even be described simply as that which makes lifeworth living.” T. S. Eliot Notes Towards a Definition of Culture(1948)

Statue in downtown The Pas, MB – The Gateway to The North!

I’ve reflected on the idea of culture many times before and I love immersing  myself completely into new ones on a regular basis, the root of this curiosity stemming from a perceived lack of culture in my own life. What I learned about myself through this was that  I am my own culture. I believe we all are.

The more ways I experience life, the more open minded I become and the more I see that I am not in need of belonging to any one way of being in the world. If anything I am grateful to know the freedom associated with not being attached to one way of life.

That being said I love seeing cultural practices alive and well because there is ALWAYS an element of connection to the earth and the creator which is so primal and calls to the very very animal nature in all of us.  So this is the dichotomy; the love/hate of it all. I see how people fighting for their culture can become angry and resentful, pulling them further from their truth. I see how one culture believing they are “right” has detrimental effects on other human beings.  I see what one needs to give up in order to stay connected to anything pure. And I see that fear lies somewhere beneath the surface of all of this.

Rwandan drummer practicing with traditional dancers at Inema Art Centre, Kigali, Rwanda. The sounds and movements are rooted in the earths pure energy.


Fear of what? Fear of not knowing who we are if we are not our culture? Of feeling a sense of being lost in the world without it to identify with? Feeling like an outsider on the inside when we run into something within a culture that doesn’t seem to fit us?

My 10-days of Yoga retreat group at Yasodhara Ashram, 2010.

Through the practice of Yoga, which in itself is a culture, I came to understand myself as something much greater than any external thing, rule or idea. I practice identifying with my highest Self which is a practice everyday as I am met with my very real human nature which my physical self and my mind provide for me.

If I identify with my Soul, as the term Namaste suggests, then what purpose does Culture serve in forming my identity and is it beneficial to human evolution?

Traditional mukluks made by woman in God’s Lake Narrows and traditional snowshoes make for a fun afternoon in the bush!


As a “white” person living in Central/Northern Canada I am reminded daily that I am not a native to this country in various ways. My heritage is questioned every day at my workplace as I engaged with Native people of this land. In Rwanda it was even more blatantly obvious that I was not of the land by the simple fact that I had white skin and blond hair. And yet in both of these places I felt I belonged somehow and found great connection to the people. Traveling to other countries and immersing myself into cultures helps me see the thread which runs through all of us……….Oneness.

The human spirit knows no barriers.

My ancestors came from Norway, Ireland, Scotland and England as far as I know. I identify mostly with the Norwegian side, I think because of my blond hair and blue eyes…….also the gap in my front teeth which I inherited from my Grandfather who was full blood Norwegian. This is my fathers side of the family.

Me and Gramps out for a winter walk on the farm!


My grandfather married a local girl in Alberta whose parents were from England. My great Grandfather, her father, started the first Newspaper in Vermilion, AB – the Vermilion Standard which still exists today. It wasn’t until I started to write that I realized I had roots in this field and I began to see myself more clearly in terms of my genetic blood line, my human qualities began to take more shape.

One of my first published stories for the Opasquia Times


My mother’s mother was Irish and married a Military Airplane Mechanic whom she met in her 30’s. He was of Scottish decent as far as we know. I never met my grandfather but from what I hear he was a quite and gentle man. My grandmother was not! She was feisty and independent. She loved to dance, cook and gamble! I definitely see myself in her! They didn’t meet and marry until their late 30’s which in that day and age was very late!



All of these people are living in Canada today because someone in their family was brave enough to get on a ship, sail across the ocean with very little and enter into a new land with hopes of a better life, or maybe just for the adventure. They did so with great courage, personal strength and faith – wether they knew it or not these are the qualities they brought over with them began planting some very wild seeds. It is these seeds which laid the foundation for the next generation of adventurers, my parents and now me.

My parents…..how Awesome are these two!

My parents, two farms kids from rural Alberta got married and moved to Northern Manitoba in their early 20’s. Adventures by nature, they flew the coop and unknowingly created what would become my norm. I was born and raised in Manitoba and consider the North my home. It wasn’t until I left that I realized how much the Native culture I grew up around had influenced who I had become.

It may not be a ship but it gets me across the ocean waters!

So with all of these characteristics, genes and cultural backgrounds how on earth could I identify with any one culture. And with life being so easy these days compared to the harsh reality my ancestors faced to provide me with the only life I know, how is one to find a cure for the inherited fiery adventurer spirit?

Winter Peacock!

Never identifying as one type of person and constantly updating and recreating how I exist in this world. I go against the grain, searching for meaning in all experiences and utilizing the gift of the life I have been given, thanks to my ancestors efforts at a “better life” for themselves. They may not have experienced much of the supposed “good life” that they thought was awaiting them but I benefitted from their goal being realized to a certain point. Is it then my role to continue building on their dream by creating my dreamlife? It’s as if every soul/life is connected and seeks to support the next generation in reaching a “better”  place in which to be human. Evolution of the human spirit one generation at a time.


Village in Rwanda, searching for Nataraja!


Being “white” (as I am referred to in The Pas) or a Muzungu (which I am referred to in Rwanda) I am lumped into a category of people which has become a diluted version of various European cultures which facilitates, if one is to place weight on culture as identity, a great sense of disconnect from me as a human being, the same as everyone else in the world.

The practice of identifying myself as something greater than anything  earthly supports me in this place of lacking a pure cultural identify which once held my life hostage.  I believe as humans evolve and move away from identifying with these ideas there will eventually be more peace in the world. Not that cultures will disappear but the fear around losing them will be replaced by a celebrating heart which seeks to share in our common human experience.

World Dance 4 Humanity,  a group of women dancing in Santa Barbara, CA to support cooperative in Rwanda and making a huge impact on everyone involved. Talk about sharing in human spirit!

Where I once felt lost I now feel at home. My existence on earth is unique in this day and age with the ability to travel to the other side of the world in only a day or two and communicate in different languages with friends around the world on my phone. Instead of holding tight to someone else’s idea of who I am, I now have created my own culture which lives within me. It has flow, movement and is always taking in, shifting and updating along with me. It has become who I am and how I exist in the world, I don’t need to think about it or fight for it as it simply exists.

What worked for me one day may not work the next but I carry the experiences with me in my back pocket for when a time arises where I am called to utilize the skills I acquired and thus more learning takes place as I see how one experience facilitates success in another.

Learning Water Release Therapy* with my Orca brother, Rob Harrington in Santa Barbara, CA – Water is a Culture near and dear to my heart! My lifeguarding and Nursing background were very useful tools for success here.

What began as a barrier is now my key to freedom. The feeling of being lost led me to an awareness of a life long journey full of wonder and curiosity. This is my practice, my art, my Culture of Self.


Hoop Dance Culture rocks my soul! As well as creative expression being captured through the lens of another being. Photo by my dear friend Amy Senecal, http://www.amysenecal.com






Way of the Atihk (Caribou)

Connected to the rhythm of the earth, roaming the land in search of sustenance, never stopping to get comfortable or stable or stuck, simply listening and following through. Pulled by the Creator to move on, keep doing, in order to live. They do not store fat, no  excess “just in case” – they trust.

As much as I try to live my life in line with the cosmic pull that I feel within, the system of this society itself is strongly set up to create the opposite, in my mind as a way of controlling and limiting conscious evolution and is a result of fear and lack of trust in something greater. As a human, I feel weak and helpless compared to other animals. I don’t come equipped with the survival adaptations they do for life in the wild, yet humans tend to treat them as if they are the lesser being – which I find laughable. We are totally dependant creatures which lead us to create all kinds of gadgets and technology to support our needs. We need them to survive. Without the sacrifice of animal lives we would not have had life and would not know life as it is today. And if and when technology fails us we will once again be called upon to connect to our survival nature.


As I settle with the reality of this and take part in modern days cultural rituals (i.e: me posing with a dead animal) I feel a sense of connection to a very vulnerable part of myself, my human self. I am not or have not conquered anything as the photo would suggest but instead I have survived another day and the relief that comes from obtaining sustenance in a fear based world view is what drives me to sit on top of a dead animal and claim dominance – false dominance because it is actually a balancing act. Ones sacrifice leads to another’s survival and so it continues in various new shapes and forms in todays world.

I have found great freedom in letting go of strong believes about what is good or right. I have gone from one extreme to the next. Hunter to Vegan and anything in between. But the learning for me in all of this is when I am presented with opportunity to look at why I do what I do and decide if it serves me in the present moment or not. Right now reconnecting with my survival skills feels important and it is here for me in every day life, so I take the opportunity every chance I get and this is a gift.

Animals come in packs, flocks, gaggles, and very few survive totally alone, independent from others yet we, humans, attempt to do it alone all the time. Separating ourselves emotionally, mentally and physically from others into our own lives. Like an injured member of a herd, I find myself wanting seclusion so I can heal or allow parts of myself to die, in my case give birth to a new version of myself.

Often people around me jest about a perceived lack of commitment on my part, my transient nature, I feel, because there is a blind fold to what I am really doing in my life. I, similar to the Caribou, am living in line with my instincts and intuition therefor the draw of owning a home, having a husband and children, a career, a pension and everything I need  at my finger tips does not exist the way it once did. I exist this way because I have experienced both sides and know I find great joy in flowing with my Destiny, my Divine Plan. I am 100% committed to this and only this.

There is a myth attached to this kind of lifestyle as well which is just that….a myth, that living life without the responsibilities of society norms is somehow easier and more free, more fun. From my experience, both are equally challenging in their own unique ways. It is a conscious choice to be separate from the norm and that, in many circles, can mean death.

As I dive into what looks like a relatively “normal” lifestyle, at least from the outside, I am anything but playing this game the way I did before. I take comfort in the beautiful space I have created and the financial gains my education/experience has brought me but I am not attached to them. I will let them go once again when I am called to do so, when it is time to go. For now the adventure is to stay, settle within my self and soul and allow all the seeds I have planted to begin to take root.

As much as I find it painful at times to be on this part of the journey somewhat alone, my herd scattered around the globe,  I know it is necessary and I am met with challenges daily.  My energy being asked to focus on areas I don’t want to focus on, things I don’t want to look at and things that seem so all consuming I wonder where I even begin. I know that until I do this work I will not move on, or at least I will not naturally move in flow with what is meant to be which would only make the lessons harder to learn. I do not just jump from one fun experience to the next, I do the work I am called to do and when I feel the pull to move on I take steps to do so.

Caribou leave an area when it no longer sustains them, supports them or gives them what they need. As much as my dreams are bigger than living in a small, remote Northern-ish community with all its beauty and limitations, it is here – and only here, I will develop the skills, strength, support and courage to step into the bigger picture, the one that no one else sees but me. In this I find the limitations are not limitations at all but gateways to unlocking potential. I have given myself a way of focusing of what really needs attention by living in a space free from many other distractions which seek only to pull me off course. I practice surrendering  to my human desires for entertainment, stimulation, excitement and all the luxuries many other places offer because I know that road does not lead me to true happiness and I learn to refine my desires into a balanced view of needs and wants which seek to move me forward.

The Pas is known as the “Passageway to the North” and for me it describes exactly why I am here. I am here for ReBirth and am currently in the labour stage of this process. I’m patient and push only when its appropriate, keep on breathing and trust that this natural and beautiful event will deliver me into a new world view.

I want to go “UP” and I am sitting at the gates right now, arranging my tools, supplies and preparing for the journey ahead. Spiritually I bring with me trust, faith, and a deep sense of knowing. Physically I have financial support and practical tools for meeting my human needs. The tangible results from  seeds planted will facilitate success and survival in the next step. Emotionally I have maturity, balance and awareness. Mentally I have strength, confidence, clarity and peace of mind.

These are the things which brought me here and I did the work to move into the place I am in today, taking every step as seriously as the next. When I arrived just over one year ago I had a duffle bag and a broken suitcase. I entered into the coldest winter in decades with only a few worn out summer clothes available to me. I had no income. I had to open the doors of support and allow the ripple effect which I had created to flow in and help me out.  I had to surrender to my needs and allow myself to receive. I did the work everyday to build on what I had put in motion many years earlier.

Now I have a beautiful home space. I have some nice clothes. I have multiple career paths simultaneously flowing abundance into my life and affording me the financial support I need to move forward as well as nourishing my soul.  I have a business and a car.  I have food on my table and hot, running water  – I am wealthy beyond my basic needs. I am slowly but steadily building a community and am engaging in beautiful traditions of the people in this area.

I am not stuck here. I am not doing anything so I can “get out of here”, instead I am staying where I am, soaking it all up until it sustains me no more. When I consume all that is here for me I  will move into the next place of abundance, eventually – but never stopping, coming to a balanced place of thriving.

*Inspired by my time spent with Mr. Rodney Forbes skinning and packing two Caribou. Thank you Rodney.*IMG_2058



Settling In

I am sitting in the aftermath, not quite sure of what is right or wrong, working very hard on not beating myself up internally as the mirror reveals yet another layer of truth. How in one moment can I feel so certain that what I am doing is exactly what I am meant to do and then turn around and see the many other sides, options and choices I had.

From experience I know that in that moment I was right. I was right in that moment and then that moment passed and the momentum of my choice was set in action. There is really no right way or wrong way, it just all leads me back to an new layer, another opinion and another truth. This cycle feels frustrating at times and days like today when I feel like a fool it takes strength to keep on trusting that I am ok.

I am no different than anyone else. I am a human and sometimes I seek to find myself as “other”. I search for ways to be different and ways to not fit in yet there in no escaping the fact that we are all on the same path just in different vehicles. I used to seek out the “other” in order to feel special or different which I believe came from a lack of self-awareness and a need to feel loved externally. As I watch myself continue to do it, and this time on a much grander scale, I feel the impact of it on my daily life and I want to run and hide from what I have created. I don’t want the attention anymore, I don’t need it. I want to be somewhat anonymous, alone and unseen but I know that is not what I have created and in many ways thats not what I really want either.

The whirlwind has stopped. The magical adventure of life “on the road” has passed and now I am settled into a life that looks very familiar to me which I have resisted very strongly, even though I KNOW it is what I need to do. It is in the doing of this that the deeper layers of truth reveal themselves and then I understand why I was resisting – it hurts.

Its painful to face the repercussions of ones decisions and when that swirly roller coaster of  having to be constantly moving in order to survive finally came to a halt – BAM!! I was taken by surprise, knock the wind out of me.  The consequences need to be faced and I can guarantee myself that I will face them but man there is part of me that puts up  a fight. Part of me is still really scared of myself.

I become very in tune with my emotions, my feelings, my senses and my intuition and that actually makes me feel quite vulnerable depending on where I am . Where I am now I feel very guarded and protective and am beginning to hear it in my voice and see it in my actions. I am not in Rwanda dancing for Joy, I am not in California doing Water Therapy and I am not living in an Ashram studying Yoga. I am in The Pas working in my profession, living in an apartment, paying bills, in the freezing cold and I am here alone. I am am now more aware of how the fear has played out over the last year and its quite staggering to honestly admit to myself.

I see why. I know why. Do I like why – no!! But I will carry on and keep on settling so that scared part of me will feel safe enough to emerge so I can reassure her and calm her down. For now I am using Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix to soothe her but that is running its course all too quickly! My practices of Yoga, dance and light are calling me back, they are my knight in shining armour and they never leave me, it is I who leave them.

I am here to face things that are quite scary to me. All the work of starting a business/non-profit, hosting Thrill The World, and trying survive on a ridiculously low budget has become a thing of the past. I have shed my exterior self and am now free of my amour. I watch as I try to distract myself and avoid what I am feeling but its all there. It keeps me up at night, it sits in my shoulders, neck and jaw and tightens up in my chest. These are the signs that I am processing something that will eventually rear itself and be passed. I take comfort in the passing as I know the drill and I know it is what I want. What I want this time is to not give it all my attention, not let it take my power and render me helpless to its energetic pull.

My truth is I’m freakin out inside with all that is being revealed to me over the last few months and I am just starting to allow myself to really feel it. I feel shame, guilt, embarrassed, judgment and even mortified. I watch as I project and misplace my pain onto others. I watch as I put up walls and put on faces, voices and tones. At times waves of feeling like the worlds worst human being for being on this journey BUT I know that I am a good person, we all are, and I know that I can change the actions that don’t feel good to me in the future (the key here is I can only change my actions, not the actions of others). Some how my past is what helps me see it more clearly and in this space I can forgive myself. The more good I do in the world the more doors open for me to see my dark side more clearly and I can rest my head and heart on the fact that I am creating balance.

“Christmas is a hard time of year”, I’ve heard that a lot about places like rehab centres, areas of poverty and the Ashram would turn into an emotional epicentre during this time as well – so much so that we openly joke about it! Its like everything all comes up to greet you at once, family, friendship, money, food, work, religion, you name it its here at Christmas!  At the same time the bonus lies in the fact that ….Its CHRISTMAS and most people are more friendly, there are more community gatherings, more giving, more light, more more more and its an openly spiritual time of year. Its like a big giant cosmic hug!!

So to end this on a bright note, I can look at my life today and because of where I am, exactly where I am, I can literally see the fruits of my labour surrounding me and I can just sit back and enjoy this part of the process in my swanky new round love seat, chair thingy I have dubbed “the nest” – just one of the many perks to being settled!




Layer upon layer, peel after peel revealing my ugly truths

Raw and open I stand before you offering the gift of presence during a time of weakness

Giver of space, holder of light

I worship the death that comes from the game we play

I am a seeker with no arms to fend off  baggage which blinds, spilling forth the guts and the glory to anyone willing to join the war

I am honoured to have you

The Gita has begun on this day of birth, reborn to reveal my souls nature

I trudge through being human with fumbling ecstasy in hopes of being honoured, if only for my efforts

I seek no one, no thing, no body, no soul to unit me for I know my essence is pure love

I seek no score, no peddles to propel me into learning as it stands before me in grace awaiting my clear eyes to see

There is no one for me, only me in truth

This I know, it is so

Balance comes in rocky stages

Foundation prepared for building a home on new a platform, yet I see the other options and turn my nose up in disgust

It is not for me I say and I move on down the path less travelled

My path

A pebbled beach trail at times with winds so fierce it knocks the sense back into me

A rough uneven terrain which strives to build my strength in ways I have not seen before now

l Iive with the deep well of Self below the armour of my heartshell

To love is to be human, to be accepted by my human self is my work in this life and to love it I must see it

Openly welcome the onlookers who donate time and energy to become a part of the master puzzle created as our playground

We take no recess, we have no holiday from the skin of the self within which our truth exists

Chance encounters with those that are presented and watch as the small seeds plant and replant themselves in hopes of something different, something other than the  same beautifully painful garden growing where it has many times before

Only this time I do not scatter them, I plant them orderly, intentionally and with care knowing that the time will come when the fruits of my labour will be visible to all and the judgement begins all over again

From within is what matters

The reflections back are fierce and my heart reacts like a lioness protecting her cubs from harm but this mothers heart is not broken any longer

She loves big and bold

Walk away scared souls and save the rest for those who are brave to receive

Give it to me and I shall share my milk with you, regaining the trust I once had to the mother connections above, below and in between

Ubiquity of essence


Light is seen in all things great and small

All beings come to receive, give and leave the earth with no more than they came with

The truth in this is that we leave with all we brought

Labouring our lives away to see ourselves through the lens of love, we can parish with peace of mind

Until then I will play, battle and brave the odds which come daily and without fail

Like a familiar cat sitting on the porch step, I return somehow to a place I barely remember

Landing on my feet over and over, lick my wounds and rise up once more

Clarity with each new sunset

Maybe this time I will take the road that I have travelled less, not concerned with the masses any longer

Finding my way