Norman Mailer: “Love asks us that we be a little braver than is comfortable, a little more generous, a little more flexible. It means living on the edge more than we care to.”
So I have taken a bit of a break and allowed many other things to unfold in my life and what I realized is that I love to write and miss it very much when I don’t do it. Well, maybe its really that I love to express myself and I feel like that comes from 30 years of being completely silent about my truth, now I just cannot get enough of sharing! Look Out world I have a voice now and its here to stay!!
As I sit on the verge of taking a major leap in my life, which feels very much like a natural next step, I am again faced with my own fear and yet I walk head on into everyday. I know that I have a duty to share the knowledge I have gained through my healing experience and I feel we all have the same duty to share what we are on this earth to be. Why do I find it so challenging to just be what I am meant to be? I am living in that space between Fear and Action, the moment just before everything changes.
Fear is my teacher and so I ask it the question “What purpose do you serve?” and it has no response that would be a good reason to stop me from taking a next step. As I push on through it the momentum takes hold and I am pulled so forcefully into my own life, that I have created, and I am reminded that I will never be given more than I can handle. I am prepared for this, I am capable of this and more.
People are starting to request time with me, I have a calendar full of appointments to do exactly what I have been manifesting, I created this life and it is chomping at the bit for me to open the race gates. Can I hold on? Can I control this untamed heart that is more than ready be unleashed onto the world? I sure can and I am ready!
In these last few weeks I have become a reporter for the local paper (my first paid writing gig!), started an online radio show with my best friend (www.norliteradio.com/fullcircle – thursdays at 7pm central time), moved into a new home with an old friend of mine. I continue to make plans and open up all kinds of new ideas and possibilities for my future, nothing is off limits.
I am now a substitute teacher at the high school and have been asked to come speak at Career Day! I have been blessed with a life coach- Thank you Jean! I have met with a personal trainer to attain my personal fitness goals. I have met many important people and connections have been made for potential projects and work. Each step I take has a purpose and an intention that will lead me to the dream that I have in my heart.
I continue to build and find clarity on my business ideas, which will be launching officially in a few weeks time. I feel a sense of what I was calling anxiety at first but then when I really allowed myself to feel it I realized it was just all this pent up energy from being so ready to leap off this cliff that it was just oozing out of me. I can’t sleep, I am constantly on the go in my mind and I happier than ever in the midst of all the transition. My body has been waiting to be a Yoga Teacher, a Dance teacher, a creative movement leader, a Water Release Therapy Provider, a writer, a motivational speaker and so much more for my whole life and my insides are leaping out of my skin with anticipation for the beginning of my dream life to be even more my reality.
I continue to be in contact with my friend in Rwanda and my partner in Thrill The World Kigali, Gilbert, who now has a new partner, our friend Amini, to help us shape our vision even more. We are more connected than ever and we lift each other to new heights. I am in love with my life and it feels amazing to have such a strong connection to these very special and inspiring people.
I have been away from Rwanda for 4 1/2 months total and it feels like just yesterday that I left. While I was in Rwanda time expanded into years and I felt as though I was there forever! That is what I love about the human mind, it is capable of so much and it helps us create our reality in a way that is specific to exactly what we need at the time. Time doesn’t exist in a linear way for me anymore and that allows me to find peace in seeing how much I accomplished in 5 months in Kigali and now how much I have done, or not done in 4 months in Canada. Its all relative to me and my journey and when I look back I have done soooooo much!!!
I am in this journey whole heartedly. I continue to be healthy and happy now because of the changes I have made. I give 100% everyday, even on the dark days, I go into them 100% because I trust that the other side will come and be even brighter than before. Today I commit to myself just a little more, do a little more, see a little more and trust a little more than I did yesterday. This is what keeps me going – real life experience – its all we can ever really know!